


Physics

by DrownMeOut (DeimosEquinox)



Category: Final Fantasy XV, Starfighter
Genre: But this is crack, Crack, Crossover, How did these two even meet, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I don't even know if I'll actually mention them to be honest, I got the title from the Nural song, I guess physics counts when one is literally in a ship, I'm going to choose a popular tag that relates, Learn how to read, Mentions of Phobos (Starfighter), Mentions of Prompto (FFXV), Might as well give them a shoutout, Nural, Other, Pretty sure both are out of charater, Respect your parents kids, SO, Thanks for understanding, crackfic, just throwing that out there, myspace - Freeform, read to find out
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-27
Updated: 2017-05-27
Packaged: 2018-11-05 09:02:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11010243
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeimosEquinox/pseuds/DrownMeOut
Summary: Deimos can't sleep. It's probably about three in the morning. Noctis is bored and both of them like the same music, so he slides into Deimos's inbox. He asks for nudes and the fighter sends an angry face in response.Okay, not really.But you get the gist.I might add more chapters later. Haven't decided yet.Mature for language and moderate roasting.





	Physics

**Author's Note:**

> I am sorry mother, I have failed you.  
> Enjoy this friendship.

Deimos rolls over, slowly opening his laptop. He squints at the light before turning the brightness down, careful to not wake Phobos. After all, his bratty navigator would have his head if he woke him up.

Of course, he had his ways of quieting Phobos, but...

Deimos doesn't kiss and tell.

He narrows his eyes as he logs onto Myspace, unsure if the message before him was real.

But there it was, a short text that read, "Nice music taste."

Deimos: Who are you?

And, thus, their conversation began.

Noctis: Do you really not know who I am?

Deimos: Correct.

Noctis: Uh, Noctis Lucis Caelum. Prince of Lucis.

Deimos: I guess that's nice.

Noctis: Did you really not know me?

Deimos: I live on a ship in outer space.

Noctis: Oh. How is that?

Deimos: Habitable. How is Lucis?

On the bunk beneath him, Phobos lets out a low groan. "Deimos, are you actually fucking awake?"

He stays silent, but his navigator stands and shoots him a glare. "You better be well rested for training tomorrow."

With that, the white-haired man strides out of the room.

Deimos watches him go before turning back to his conversation with this "prince."

Noctis: Habitable.

Deimos uses elipses before rolling onto his back for a few seconds.

The exhaustion set in, but actually sleeping proved to be harder than he had time for.

Noctis: So, where are you from if you're up in space?

Deimos: The New Volga region.

Noctis: Where is that?

Deimos: Russia.

Noctis: What's... Russia?

Deimos: Are you serious?

Noctis: Dead.

The next morning, after talking to Noctis for a few hours, they get into an argument. Noctis told the other his entire life story, complaining about how he'd been stuck on a mountain for the past ten years (this was how they realized they were the same age). Deimos told him that no one could save the world by sitting on a mountain, but Noctis countered with telling him that his bitch ass could not save the world by sitting on a giant ship. According to the Russian fighter, Prompto had stupid hair and according to the prince, Deimos had greasy hair and Phobos was a bitch.

And, well, Deimos couldn't disagree with the last comment.

Noctis: You don't even have gravity, so how do you know how it works, you dumb ruskie?

Deimos: Both of you need to learn what a comb is. We have gravity on the ship, you dumb whore.

Noctis: You just told me "who needs gravity" you dumbass.  

Deimos: Do you have any other insults, or is your vocabulary that limited?

Noctis: No, I'm busy fucking my _blond_ boyfriend.

Deimos: Make sure you don't mess up his blond hair. 

Noctis: He likes it pulled. Smh. 

Deimos: Now I see how it gets into that fucked up style. 

Noctis: Well, you aren't wrong. For once. 

They went at their argument until Phobos came to collect Deimos for training.

At the end of the day, Deimos messaged Noctis with, "I'm often right."

Noctis: D O U B T

Deimos: Aren't you dead?

Noctis: I explained this. I go back in time with a dog so I don't die. I can't watch my blond boyfriend get killed.

Deimos: You always could. 

Noctis: If I could die but let him live, I would let that happen. 

Deimos: You truly are the prince of emo.

Noctis: I guess that makes you the king.

"Chatting with your boyfriend?" Phobos asks, causing Deimos to jump. The fighter looks at his navigator, who glares at him with a toothbrush in his mouth.

He decides to stay silent, watching the other scoff and return to the bathroom.

What can you do when your boyfriend is jealous?

Ignore them.

Seemed plausible.

He knew his best friend sure did it.

***cough* _Cain_ *cough***

Anyway.

Deimos: Funny.

Noctis: Speaking of funny, did you hear that Blood on the Dancefloor made a new album?

Deimos: Whom?

And that's how he heard the cringiest thing since, well, Abel's voice.

Deimos: I hate you.

Noctis: Same.

Deimos: 30 is kind of old to be emo, don't you think? 

Noctis: I could say the same for you. Your hair covers your eye. 

Deimos: And your stupidity covers yours. 

Noctis: Funny. 

Deimos: Well, unlike you, I actually have things to do tomorrow. So goodnight. 

Noctis: Goodnight, edgelord. 

Deimos snorts, closing his laptop. He watches Phobos climb into bed, not sure if he wants to push the issue. 

Might as well. 

"Are you jealous?" He teases. 

"Of your ugly ass? Hardly." 

"You don't think I'm ugly." 

"Just because I pin you to the sh-" 

Deimos cuts him off with a snort. He doesn't mean to, but Phobos hears it and shoots him a glare. 

"I'm not the only one angry about your new little friend. Cain is too." 

He shrugs. Cain could get fucked for all he cared. 

"I'm going to bed." Phobos finally snaps. 

Over the next few weeks, people got less suspicious of Noctis. Mainly because Deimos harshly told Cain in the mess hall, "I don't know what planet he is on, but anyone is a better best friend than you." 

That shut him up. Cain also didn't talk to him for the rest of the day, but it's not like the smaller fighter minded. 

When Deimos logged onto his computer after a long day of fighting colterions, he frowned at it. 

27 unread messages? 

**Author's Note:**

> Lmao, dramatic ass cliffhanger  
> Will I continue this fic? Find out on the next episode of Dragon Ball Z


End file.
